The Woman Allah Wants Me to Be - A journey of faith, character and purpose
- giochtn
- Aug 27
- 5 min read
If you were given the chance to meet the woman you will become a year from now, would you recognise her?
Would she be someone you are proud to meet? Someone who knows Allah more deeply, carries herself with dignity, speaks with wisdom, serves others with sincerity and moves through the world with confidence without losing her humility?
Or would you wonder when, somewhere along the way, you lost your direction?
Becoming the woman Allah wants us to be begins with a question we rarely stop to ask:
Who am I becoming?
Not who does society want me to be. Not who social media tells me to be. Not even who circumstances have slowly shaped me into. But who does Allah call me to become?
None of us came into this world with a personal manual. We are learning as we go. We make mistakes, change our minds, lose our way and find it again. Yet Allah did not leave us without guidance. The Qur'an gives us principles by which we can understand ourselves, our lives and the road ahead.
Perhaps, then, The Woman is not someone waiting for us at the end of the journey. She is being formed in the choices we make along the way.
The One who created us.
Before asking what kind of career we want, what kind of family we hope to have or what kind of life we want to build, ask what kind of relationship we want with Allah.
The Qur'an's description of believing men and women is striking. It speaks of faith alongside truthfulness, patience, humility, charity, modesty and frequent remembrance of Allah. It does not begin with beauty, status, popularity or achievement. This is worth remembering in a world that constantly asks us to measure ourselves by appearances.
But devotion to Allah does not mean withdrawing from life. Allah tells us to seek the Hereafter through what he has given us, while not forgetting our share of this world. So, let’s learn, work, build something useful, develop our talents, care for our health, become financially responsible, seek both religious and worldly knowledge.
The aim is not to escape the dunya. It is to live in it without making it our final destination.
The person we are becoming
There is the person people see, and there is the person Allah knows. The latter is the one worth working on.
Character is built in ordinary moments: when we choose not to say what we could say, when we admit that we were wrong, when we set a boundary without cruelty, when we help someone without needing to be noticed and when we resist becoming bitter because of something that hurt us.
The Prophet ﷺ said, “The believer does not allow himself to be stung twice from the same hole.” (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
The wisdom in that is that the Faith does not ask us to be naïve. We can forgive and still learn. We can be compassionate without becoming a doormat. We can be gentle without surrendering our self-respect.
And when we fail, we return. The Qur'an itself calls believers to sincere repentance. Our mistakes are not proof that we are incapable of becoming better. Sometimes they are where the work of becoming better begins.
The women who walked before us
We do not have to invent the qualities we hope to develop. Our tradition has given us examples.
Let’s take a look at Asiyah (RA), the wife of Pharaoh (Quran 66:11). Her circumstances could have defined her, but they did not. Allah presents her as an example for those who believe. Her prayer was not for status or recognition, but for a home near him in Paradise. Consider Maryam (AS), whose devotion and steadfastness remain part of the Qur'anic story. Remember Khadijah (RA), whose faith, wisdom, generosity and steadfast support remind us that strength does not always announce itself loudly.
These women were not copies of one another and neither should we be.
There is no single profession, personality or life circumstance that makes a woman valuable. What matters is what she does with what Allah has placed in her hands.
A Purpose beyond a title
Sometimes we speak about purpose as though everyone must discover one extraordinary mission. Purpose is often quieter than that. It asks why you do it and who you are becoming through it. It may be found in the way you teach, raise children, support your family, build a business, serve your community, pursue knowledge or simply become the person others can trust.
The Prophet ﷺ said that the strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although there is good in both. He then encouraged us to pursue what benefits us, seek Allah's help and not lose heart. (Sahih Muslim 2664)
Strength does not have to mean being loud or dominating a room. It can mean having the discipline to keep learning, the courage to do what is right, the humility to ask for help and the resilience to begin again.
The question is not only, “What do I want to achieve?”
It is also:
“Who will I become while achieving it, and will that person be pleasing to Allah?”
Begin your blueprint
Take a fresh page in your journal and write at the top: THE WOMAN ALLAH WANTS ME TO BE
Imagine meeting yourself one year from today. Write a short description of her, like a character sketch (not her clothes, job, marriage or achievements, but her character). Eg., How does she respond when she is angry? What does she do when nobody is watching? What does she know? What does she give to others? What does she protect between herself and Allah?
Then work backwards. Choose three qualities from your description - One quality of faith. One quality of character. One quality of purpose.
Eg.,
· Faith: Closeness to Allah
· Character: Patience
· Purpose: Discipline/Usefulness
For each, write one action that would make that quality visible in your life this week.
Lastly, write one sentence: “If I want to meet her a year from now, what must I begin today?”
Use this activity to start your journey. Return to it when you lose direction. Add to it when you grow. Cross things out when you outgrow them. Let it become a record, not of perfection, but of becoming the person.
Becoming happens quietly, through choices that may seem insignificant at the time. One day, you will look back and realise that the person you became did not suddenly appear. She was being formed in you all along. Not perfect. Not untouched by mistakes or uncertainty. But learning to love Allah more, to live with a greater purpose, to carry strength with humility and to use the life she has been given well.
Remember: we are women, but before anything else, we are also human. We will stumble. We will need help. We will have days when we fall short of the person we hoped to be. That does not mean we stop becoming.
In Quran 16:97, Allah promises that whoever does righteous deeds, male or female, while believing, will be given a good life and rewarded for what they did. So, the question is no longer, “Will I ever become her?”
Perhaps it is simply:
What will I do today to move one step closer?
Closing the article with a personal dua:
Ya Allah, guide us towards becoming the women you are pleased with, strengthen our faith, refine our character, bless our efforts and give purpose to our life. Help us use what you have given us in ways that bring us closer to you and when we lose our way, gently bring us back. Let the women we become be better than the woman we once imagined and let us be someone you are pleased with, Ameen!
Writer: Fathima Noman Ibadullah, Member, GIO Anna Nagar.
Date: 27 August 2026.
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